The Purple Revolution: Inside the LPUK War Room

After the polls closed on election night the sun dawned on a new era of politics in Britain. The composition of Westminister has been dramatically transformed in a way unseen in over 100 years. In historic fashion, voters choose to support the LPUK, allowing them to break the Tory-Labour duopoly that has ruled the nation for decades in what is a major coup for the Labour party. The LPUK led by long-time leader Friedmantie19 who recently marked a milestone of 1,000 days as party leader to make him the longest-serving party leader in recent memory. This was no doubt a seismic shift in British politics marking a change in the electorate who choose to back a center-right majority over a falling Labour.

Part of the blame does fall onto Labour themselves, they failed to capitalize on gains this term, saw a rise of defection and falling activity, and in the leadup to the election was hammered by a jumbled manifesto and disjointed election strategy. Political pundits across the spectrum criticized Labour and right-wing papers like the Sun ran wild with Labour’s terribly rolled out economic policies. However, the other side of the coin for this election’s results lays at the feet of the LPUK Party and its leader Friedmantie19 who has led the party to on of the greatest comebacks in British political history. After the last election, the LPUK Party seemed in crisis. The Tories left the LPUK in favor of the Liberal Democrats and the Libertarian party was isolated from all allies as they went into UO. 

The turning point came when was the VONC on the Clegg government. As the dusted settled on the Clegg government the LPUK picked up steam. They began pushing out legislation, working in the press, and increasing their activity across the abroad. They had a new message: The LPUK presented a consistent front of activity in the press and in the Commons. Introducing motions on foreign policy in defending human rights, backing reforms, and all backed by a robust LPUK Press Office. As the General Election approached the party prepared for what might be the most important election in a generation. The polls through the term had shown record-breaking polling heights for the LPUK. The LPUK has climbed from a distant third place in the lower single digits all the way up and breaking thee 20 point mark long considered to the domain of the big 2 parties. The most recent polls released on the eve of the election showed that the LPUK had displaced Labour as the second-largest party. The fight was on. 

Key to their victory on election night was a well-tuned campaign office that sought to fight for every seat. We were told, election experts inside the LPUK’s Milton Keynes office worked day and night to analyze safe seats and in identifying weak seats to pick up. All this word amidst what we now know was an uncoordinated Labour leadership set the LPUK perfect for success. 

Inside the LPUK War Room, one of the men leading the charge was Libertarian election mastermind Greetjatus. He had this to say:

“We gauged the mood of the nation extremely well, thanks to an extensive grassroots operation. People are tired of the same old Labour Vs Tory debate. For us, that was the clincher. In our target areas we had to become the people that would stand up for workers, people like you and me,” commented Greejatus from his helicopter “…you know, hard-working ordinary people. And that’s what we did. We planned we prepared, and we focused on a single message – Labour will ruin the economy, we will unlock it.”

Greetjatus was recently appointed Minister for the Cabinet Office, a position once again putting him in the middle of government and party coordination. 

Following the victory of the LPUK on election night, the country has two real choices for a government. A Clegg government that would not have a majority in Parliament or a Burple Government with a majority of four. The choice was made for a Burple government and now the country sits with a Burple government with a firm majority and a Labour-DRF OO led by newly elected Labour head Lily-Irl.

ThreeCommasClub, the LPUK MP for Manchester North who recently won reelection and now Education Secretary had this to say: “Frankly, the LPUK has a strong message: to break the duopoly and we backed up our plan with a fully costed manifesto. Compare that to Labour whose manifesto was full of typos, mistakes, and illogical policies defeat was all but certain for them. Now in government, I look forward to serving the people and leading the country forward.” 

Tres Commas is a writer for the Telegraph

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s